I left my family behind so that my husband could move closer to his daughter from a previous marriage, and his grandmother who was dying of lung cancer. Unfortunately his grandma died the day we got there. His sister had just had a baby girl a few days before, and a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant with our second child. I later found out I was having a girl. After having 3 boys (two from a previous marriage) I was over the moon. At first I thought that having another baby would put an even bigger strain on our already strained finances and I had expressed my worries with my sister-in-law who had just had a baby. She assured me they would throw me a baby shower and that she would give me some clothing and things that her baby grew out of. Which was great especially since I had given her just about all of the baby gear I had from my last baby because I wasn’t expecting to get pregnant. After all my husbands family started to find out I was pregnant they too said they would get together with her and plan me a baby shower. I did once modestly say they didn’t have to, but they said they wouldn’t hear of not giving me one. So, I was expecting it. Over the next few months I babysat my sister-in-laws baby and got really close with the baby and was looking forward to when her and my baby girl would grow up together and be close friends. In the meantime time was getting closer for me to have my first baby girl and I was excited, couldn’t wait for my baby shower. My husbands family didn’t visit or call that much and I didn’t give it that much thought, but I had begun to get very lonely considering my family was miles away and I didn’t get to see or talk to them much. Then in the last few weeks of my pregnancy I noticed that my husband wasn’t acting himself, and he started to seem distant and preoccupied. That didn’t sit well with my pregnancy hormones at all! I finally figured out what was bothering him and I became really hurt. A few months back two of his ex-girlfriends whom he had hooked up with on and off over the years since he was a teen had found out he was living back in town and had a pregnant wife, started visiting his mom and sister and claiming they wanted DNA tests for their children whom they had always claimed was their husbands. He didn’t know what to do. Of course being in my last month of pregnancy I didn’t want to have to deal with it and thought it could wait. His mom of course couldn’t think of anything else. One of the girls had been his sister’s friend and the other girl had been his cousins wife. They were both considered as ‘part of the family’ even though they didn’t have any ties to the family anymore. One of them had a daughter that went to school with two older sons and she said the most vulgar things to my sons about the situation and wouldn’t leave them alone about it. The other seemed not to be worried about it and from what I heard she didn’t even bring it up my husband’s mom did. My husband assured me he would ignore the requests for an informal DNA tests for mine and the baby’s sake buy the whole situation had already done it’s damage… my baby went into distress… I had just figured the ex’s wanted to cause problems and that honestly they knew none of their children were my husbands. If it was real I would have figured they would have gotten a court order for one so they could collect child support. Anyway about 8 months later one of them sent my husband nude photos of herself and a friend of hers his mother and sister took up for her saying ‘she always does stupid things like that’ they say she is happily married and just did that one time when she was mad at her husband. They have chosen to keep their distance from them and even though they know I don’t want to be around her they invite her to family parties. They know my husband, me, and our kids wont come to the parties if she comes, but they don’t care. They think I should forget about it and that I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around her. I’m hurt by the whole thing. She doesn’t have anything on me, I work hard on my figure and my looks, and she has pretty much let herself go. I just don’t want to be at a party when I know I will be ignored and I will have to see her and my husbands family laughing it up. Just seems pointless when I think his family should be getting to know me and spending time with their grandchildren of which they never visit and I’m not going to visit them when they always seem to have that girl over. Am I wrong to not attend the parties?
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