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Starting To Just Give Up Help?

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Well there’s a lot to say I’m 14 and just always been depressed since about 11. I’ve been to counseling been on anti depressants I haven’t been to counseling or depressants for about 5 months now and for a while it was going alright but just some things happened my mom ex boyfriend breaking up with her and she was making it seem it was my fault on my way to school she said I ruined her life and a lot of other stuff and now she’s in a new relationship only here about 2 days out of the week my 18yr old sister got pregnant and had her baby and my mom thinks a lot less of me and my sister now and my dads in Japan for military I can’t just tell him how I feel he hasn’t even been here for most part of my life to see me and so i don’t know what to do it’s just the beginning of school and I’m already letting my grades slip because I just don’t really care anymore

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